#304 [Selamat the 46th Birthday Dear Omma]

Omma in Korean language means Mother.

Bila nak merengek ataupun frust menonggeng dengan Mak sendiri, sila panggil Mother Omma kerana boleh menyebabkan aksi adalah feeling terlebih. Ommmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Like that. [Sila refer ke drama-drama Korea for more substantial example.]

Anyway. Bukan itu saya nak cerita sebenarnya.

Saya nak cerita yang hari ini adalah birthday Mother saya. Sila wish dia Happy Birthday yang ke empat ploh enam. Walaupun uban dah makin banyak [despite saya suruh dia hitamkan rambut ala-ala awet muda], Mother gua tetap gempak beb. Dia kata, "Let me grow old, gracefully." Chey Chey.

Saya rasa sangat bersyukur kerana sedajal-dajal saya ini, Mother tetap sayang saya. Sebab I'm so lovable like that. [Padehal kalau boleh sila berambus cepat-cepat.] Terima kasih Mother, semoga di hari yang gembira ni, Mother terus akan membiarkan saya habiskan beras di rumah. [Amin amin.]

Kau jangan main gila, of course lah aku doakan Mother yang baik-baik. Tapi gua tak boleh cakap sini. Ai malu you. Hiks.

Birthday cake Mother yang ada 10 batang lilin.

Chikee Dam-Dam Breeyawneh cooked by my lil brader, The Gems.

Tak boleh puji dia lebih-lebih kat sini. Kang kembang seperiok, gua tak boleh angkat dowh. Rimas. Family aku ni minat masak sebenarnya. Gua aje ade agak menyeleweng sikit boleh pegi minat makan pulak.

T_T

Happy Birthday Mother. Me lap yew bery muchie.

July's Blasted Stereo.

Wonder Girls - SO HOT
[Now telinga dah baik ni asyik nak dengar lagu owh so hawt ini saja.]

Some other favvies:
Life On The Moon - David Cook
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas (B.E.P)
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Afgan - Entah
Pussycat Dolls - Jaiho
ST12 - Puspa
Yuna - Dan sebenarnya
Music Soulchild feat Mary J Blige - If you Leave
Jolin Tsai - I don't want a boyfriend [All-time seh!]

Ok dah thanks, bye.

#303 [Rewind back the old memories please!]

Matok sejak dua menjak ni dia rajin pulak nak masak. Masak dendiam sudah lah, ni kasi aku hot jer post kat blog semua. Hampagas kau.

Teringat aku dulu masa tu kiteorang home alone kat rumah Matok in JB.. Pastu confident lah ni nak masak semua kan. Pulak tu nak masak Mami's [Mak Matok] nyer signature dish, asam pedas power gedemaks. Dah lah masa tu agak selengeh bacin sikit. Yerlah, belum pro, masih teragak-agak nak masukkan apa next. Tapi confident aderlah terlebih. Terlebih sampai kita pun main belasah jerlah. Kalau salah pun, yang cekek kite berdua je kan.

Yang part tak boleh blah tu masa dah masukkan daun kesom.

Eh tok, apasal eh ni daun kesom tak kecot-kecot? Bau pun tak naik. Heran aku lah.
Bak sini biar aku tengok. Eh, ah ah lah. Apasal ah.

Dua-dua dah terheran terpinga skjap. Kiteorang pun ade dok pikiak apahalllllll lah pulak.

Bila Matok pusing je tengok batch daun yang balance tinggal, dengan tiba-tiba dia terpekik,

INIIIII BUKAN KESOMMM, INI KANGKONGGGGG BODOH!!

Aku dengan Matok dah terkekek-kekek kat situ non stop tak tahan gelak ape peh bangang daun kesom jadi kangkong. Pergh. Memang gila kangkong ah kiteorang masa tu. Yang lagi best, masing-masing pegi call Mak sendiri, nak cerita kebodohan sepupu masing-masing. Lalz.

Ni kau ah ni tok, confident tu daun kesom. BAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Kau ingat tak masa ni? :p

#302 [Jejantans haprak yang tak function langsung.]

Meyesal pun ada. Geram pun ada. Sakit jiwa pun ada.

Aku dah lama hidup menyingel so sejak dua menjak ini adalah gatal terlebih nak mengedik sana sini sampai rasa adalah sangat kekok nak kenal-kenal dengan lelaki. Nak kasi handphone number pun nak kena fikir doploh lapan kalinya. T_T

You know nowadays, the social networking thingy we have on the internet is very the lah kan. Call it online dating, same jerlah. Takkan nak main tulis-tulis surat pulak? Bahaha.

Yang satu aku tak paham, asalkan chatting je, does it mean that aku akan ajak kau kahwin? Mostly people have the perception that they want to find someone to be their partner in whatever thru the means of chatting. Which aku rase, it's wrong to start with lah because apapepun, it begins with being friends. Betul tak? Betul tak?

I got to know a few guys recently dan semuanya aku reject except for one. [Tak tau bila lagi nak reject agaknya.]

And need I tell you that most of them is on my facebook listing, jadi nampak lah segala muka aku yang horror sangat tu semua which is good lah, at least they know who they're dealing with. On the other hand, I don't know how they look like, ade profile pun gambar ntah hapa-hapa. Which I'm okay because I believe that everyone deserves to make friends regardless of how they look like, statues, etc. See see, bagus tak aku? Hmmph.

So I went on "blind-dates." T_T

All of it went well [for me lah..] cos you know lah, mulut aku ni ada lanchau sikit, jadi bebual ajerlah apa-apa yang boleh aku cakap. It's after the 1st meeting that everything just went wrong.

Satu mamat ni, dah jumpa, malam tu jugak dia suruh aku jadi matair dia. Ayat bunga-bunga bukan main lagi. Ape peh matrep dia ni ingat aku ni apa, 7-11 ke. I ignored him and told him I'm not comfortable with it lah tetiba je kan. Sekali dia dah kawin, tak aniaya aku dibuatnya? The next day he started to call me, sayang lah ape lah, kejap-kejap call aku macam eeee rimassss aku lahhhhh. Kalau kau, tak naik amok? Biaserlah, nad kalau dah mengamok. Orang pun tak jadi nak masuk meminang. T_T

Lagi satu ni pulak, aku rase dia terlebih emo. After I met him, that night, I went to sleep terus cos I was really tired. He sent a few smses to me and the latter was some really hurting messages like why I ignored him, why was I being a bitch by not replying to his messages and yang paling tak boleh blah, he told me that he rejected me so don't bother contacting. Apa peh pelanchau mamat ni. Pagi tu jugak aku das dia seketul dua. Apa kau ingat kau dah bagus sangat ke? Bila dah kena khutbah jemaat dengan aku baru lah rasa bersalah. Mintak maaf lah apa lah. Ehhhh kau boleh rilek satu kona, kau layan petik taugeh tu pon best. Takde kuase aku nak melayan orang terlebih emo macam ni.

Semalam punya lagi bikin kasi hot sampai Mama Ann terpaksa menjadi tempat aku mengadu. Hehe. He was a guy from KL, he was here for a sports meet. So okay, since ada 3 days here, I decided to meet him yesterday lah. I told him, I'm at work and I can't meet him earlier. Aku cakap aku pi kerja dia cakap aku sengaja. Wtf kan dia ni? So aku okay, takperlah. He must be mad cos I couldn't make it to support him at his sports meet. Dah tu takpe, keep smsing me suruh aku bawak kawan. Aku cakap nak buat apa? Kawan dia nak kenal-kenal. Ewah ewah. Kau ingat kiteorang kat sini nak menyundal ke? Aku dah binget.

So I ignored him for a while. After work at about 2pm, I went home instead. Around 3, I fell asleep as I was really tired. Pulak tu hujan lebat. Wah syokness. Bila aku bangun, I was left with a few messages. Like he was dissapointed that I couldn't make time for him since he came all the way to Spore. [Ade aku suruh? Ade?] So I replied him, I told him I fell asleep and I'm gonna get ready lah to meet him for dinner. Then aku tanye dia, where is he now, dia cakap Mustafa Centre and he insisted that I go there.

Pale hangok dia! Ade ke patut nak suruh aku pegi sane!! Dah lah crowded dengan kaum sejenis! Kalau aku kene rogol macam mana? Horror okay kalau pegi tempat tu. Aku tak suka gila. Benci. So I told him, can I meet you somewhere else instead? Perhaps somewhere in town. Dah dia marah-marah. Pe hal tak boleh jumpa kat sini, how long do I need to get there, etc. I told him I don't like that area because it's extremely crowded with Indians and I will take about an hour 20 minutes or so to get there. Lagi dia mengamok, why don't you take a cab instead? I'll pay for it! I'm a fucking foreigner here and I don't know why you don't even bother to come and meet me!

Excuse me? Did you just shouted at me? Well okay. If its that easy to pay the cab fare, etc, why don't you come to my area instead? Kau bobal senang lah wei, apalah sangat $20 cab fare from woodlands to serangoon semata-mata nak jumpa kau, seriously I don't mind. Tapi kalau perangai kau macam pelanchau like that, it's not even worth my 2 cents!!!

Pala sotong dia fucking foreigner cakap macam real je. Bebual nak step speaking english konon padehal aku all the way bobal melayu. Kerek sak ini mamat. Binget sial aku. Matreps.

Dah. Lepas ni aku nak menyingel je. Bodoh gila semua mereka ini. T_T

#301 [Meh. Meh. Meh. Mooooo.]

I'm in the office on a Sunday. Like how better can today be eh? T_T

I seriously think I need to get my priorities right starting from today. Like maybe plan a schedule or something and keep up on it. I'm a professional procrastinator I must say, but meh, that's not something to be proud of.

HOW? HOW?

And my workload is piling up. I'm sick of it lah. Our total strength staff of the company is over 2000 [and still growing!] and yet my department is still capped at 5 people. Dia ingat aku ni apa, wonder woman? Hah? Hah? Department wonder-wonder people? [Wonder girls? Aww. Tak perlu.] Wonder woman kau letak sini pun belum tentu dia boleh handle orang-orang retarded kat sini hok? Chey chey. [Kau nak cakap yang kau lagi bagus dari wonder woman ke nad?] T_T

Penatlah kerja. Tak nak jadi workaholic. Tak nak kerja boleh tak? Boleh tak? [Dapat bayangkan muka Father Mother yang horror tu kalau aku double up the process of menghabiskan beras di rumah. Scaryness.]

Ok, ni saje nak lepas tensyen cos Sunday terpaksa balik kerja. Macam paham.

Oh well, cheers to a better Sunday. Hope yours will be better! :)

Apple bottom jeans.. Boots with the fur... *sings*

Takziah.

My heartfelt condolence to my cousin's paternal side of the family. Matok's paternal grandfather has passed on today. He was diagnosed with bone cancer for quite sometime and has been bedridden eversince.

Our doa for arwah. May his soul rest in peace and be placed amongst the chosen ones.

Al-Fatihah.

#300 [Everyday I discover new things in life that makes me LOL.]

*Warning: Entry adalah agak horror dan gross. Mungkin gruesome jugak. Jangan baca kalau anda baru lepas makan malam ataupun sedang menjamu selera.

Actually I wanted to blog about this 3 days ago, the day I discover something that is worth to laugh my ass off and still laugh everytime I am in the toilet cubicle at my workplace.

You know, I am at the highest floor where department sumber manusia is sharing the level together with the tukang jaga duit pepel and all the mafia dons of the dons. Of course toilet orang-orang atasan tak sama lah kan dengan kita yang bawah-bawah. T_T

If you could remember, I did bitched about the mulut puaka officemate yang kecoh pasal orang kencing bising, kencing garing, all those nonsense. Ingat tak? Kan? Ahh. Soon after, I got to know another mulut puaka from the same clan is giving the same attitude. Dengan itu, aku dah luluskan mereka untuk menjadi Persatuan Mulut Puakers. W00t. Tagline mereka adalah Gila Jamban.

Ceritanya gini.. On that faithful day, aku adalah pegi membuang air kecil [tetiba sopan plak kau nad] dan dilanda kemalasan untuk bangun dengan cepatnya. So aku pon amik port. Layan sms jap. Dah tengah layan tu, perut mengulas pulak. Tak pasal-pasal aku lepak lama sikit. [Damnn kau nad ade je alasan!] And there comes along, vice-president persatuan mulut puakers, landed herself in the cubicle next to me.

A few minutes later, aku dengar bunyi orang spray-spray. Bunyi spray macam botol spray nyamuk ni Mami aku selalu pakai. Terpranjat jugak aku. Apa jadah kan dalam toilet ade lipas ke. So I thought must be the cleaner lah agaknya.

TETIBA BAU WANGI KAU.

Aku pun kuriyes mengedik nak tengok siapa yang main spray-spray ni lah kan. Banyak kali pulak tu. Bila aku keluar, aku tengok takde orang, selain aku dan orang didalam. Jadi, apakah? *roll eyes*

Aku seriously dah tak tahan nak gelak.

Aku tanye rakan sebelah meja, apa sia pegi toilet bawak spray wangi? Rilek aje dia jawab, "Mereka takut orang cakap mereka berak bau busuk lah."

LOL.

Apa tak ke bangang tu namanya. Siapalah manusia dalam dunia ni berak bau wangi!! LIKE HELLO! Membawa air freshner spray ke jamban adalah perkara sangat keji okay. Kekekeke. Dan, aku dapat tau, bukan saja dia, tapi si president Mulut Puakers tu juga! Bahahaha. That's so funnnehhhhh.

Tulah, mengata orang pandai, bila kena kat batang hidung sendiri, boleh pulak kau tak nak terima hakikatnya. Tapi seriously, jangan lah macam paham. Daripada kau bawak satu tin tu everytime nak berak, pegi lah beli the automated air-freshener for the toilet kalau kau takut sangat dengan ke-bau-an taik kau tu. Boleh jugak mende tu berjasa kepada kami semua. Betul tak?

Haiz. Ada jugak manusia macam gini hok? Kelakar lah! Hehe.

Sekarang aku kalau pegi toilet nak bay-ruck...

*breathes air*

Buat muka keji dan gelak kekeke dalam hati lepas bomb dah melepas.

Hurhurhur.